The Joy of Surrender: My Experience in the School of Worship

There’s been a handful of moments throughout my walk with God where I’ve felt like I was lacking direction. The door to one season would close, and I would be left staring blankly ahead, not sure which way to walk, not sure which door to knock on next. I feel like we all experience those moments of uncertainty. Maybe we don’t hear God clearly about what He wants from us moving forward, or maybe He opens a door for us that we least expected, or for some of us, a door is opened that don’t even want opened. But it’s in those moments where we have to trust Him. These are the moments where we take those baby steps in faith, and in obedience. More often than not, God knows what we need before we do ourselves. And then after the fact, we find ourselves looking back and being amazed at all God has done, all He has spoken, simply because we said “yes.”

For me, this was my experience with the School of Worship. 

I was at that point of staring blankly into the future, wondering what was next for me in my YWAM walk. And that was when the idea was presented to me of doing the school. Worship is my heart, and I know it’s something I was to pursue further in my life. Though I’m still figuring out exactly what that looks like, I figured the school would be a good place to start that journey and along the way, further my skills and deepen my knowledge. 

Little did I know how much I would “need” the school, how much God would use it to speak to me, and how it would be my refuge through what was about to become a very broken season in my life. God was walking ahead of me. He was preparing the way for me to be wrecked and to grow, to be changed, and challenged in my heart and in my mind throughout the journey of this school.

And what a journey it was.

I didn’t realize a secondary school could impact my life just as much as a DTS had, if not more, in some areas. God moved weekly through the different teachers that came to pour into us. Each topic was unique and God continued to speak into the areas in my life where I needed to grow, or needed something to be awakened. There was something special about the teachers that came throughout the school. Each of them were so in-tune with the Lord and it was amazing to see each of their giftings being used to impact our lives, and it wasn’t just  during class time. They spent their meal times with us, they attended our open-mic nights, they came to our workshops to teach us more practical skills. Every week there was something God wanted to hit on personally for me, but also for the other students involved. We were challenged in our knowledge, in our faith, and in our practical skills.

During this school I learned so much more about the heart of worship and all the different elements encompassed in leading worship than I have leading worship and being part of music ministries during my entire Christian walk. I grew in confidence, and was truly able to get my heart in line with worship and wrestle with God about what worship truly looked like and how, through my personal worship and quiet times with Him, I could grow as a worship leader leading a whole community.

To be honest it wasn’t always easy and there were moments I wanted to quit, but it was definitely worth it. Half way through the school, I was ready to leave and be done with YWAM. But God spoke to me and told me I needed to stay. I remember feeling so far from Him at that point, so to hear His voice after being somewhat in the “desert,” I knew I had to listen and obey. He asked me to stay, and write a song for my people, for New Zealand. I argued and wrestled with Him about it. There was no part of me that wanted to do that. I was struggling with doubt and comparison and I didn’t think I had it in me to write a song for something as big as that. But there was something in the process of surrendering in that battle, where God came alongside me and gave me the lyrics and the melody. I found myself sitting at the piano writing an anthem of sorts for my country. I didn’t enjoy the process of song writing up to that point. But I knew that this song had something special about it, because I’d allowed God into that process and had written it with Him. I had allowed Him to give me His heart for my nation and to write, and then sing it out for my people. I was so challenged, but to then see how it had already started making waves in New Zealand before it was even released, I knew that God was doing something. I knew that God was honoring my decision to say yes and stay in the school to complete what He wanted to do in me and through me. He knows us so much better than we know ourselves. He knows what we need, and He knows our capabilities, and it’s incredible to see how He helps us harness all these things when we are willing to surrender our own desires and follow His. 

I learned this lesson over and over again during the School of Worship, and each time I surrendered to Him, there was something so beautiful that came out of it. A renewed heart, a joyful spirit, a closer relationship with my Father, and something I’m most proud of: Kia Kaha. My song, God’s heart for my people. 

I left this school a completely different person than I started, in the best way.

Healed. Whole. Changed. Challenged. With a fresh view of God and worship. And really, that’s all I could have asked for.

Want to check out our Torch: School of Worship album on Spotify? Click HERE.

Interested in doing the School of Worship? For more information about The Torch: School of Worship click HERE.

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Kristy Lagarto, our author is staff with YWAM San Diego/ Baja at our Ensenada campus.

God is Not Afraid of Our Questions: How the BCC Transformed My Life

God is not afraid of our questions.

My season of studying the Bible in the Chronological Biblical Core Course was incredibly challenging and life transformational all at the same time. I went into this school terrified that I was going to get overwhelmed with the amount of work it was going to require of me, but while it was challenging it was absolutely worth it. I walked out of the school overwhelmed, not with the workload but with the incredible love of God. I grew to know Him so much deeper throughout those three months studying the Bible.

Prior to my BCC-C my knowledge of the Bible was surface level. I have been a believer all my life, following Jesus since way back, when I was a kid growing up on a YWAM base. But through those 20 years of following Christ I never found the time or motivation to dive deep into the Bible until I did my BCC-C. During the school I read through the whole Bible for the first time. My mind was opened to so much I had never understood before.

I like to explain it like this… Imagine you meet a new friend and never hear about their past life experiences or life story. All you do know of them is the information you learn about them from then on and the experiences you share with this person. Your relationship would be so shallow and not built on any kind of foundation. But the moment you share with each other your history, the way you grew up, what high school was like for you, or the incredible ways God has worked in your life, that is when depth is brought into your relationship. This is what it would be like having a relationship with Jesus without knowing the scripture. It would lack depth and foundation. Your relationship would be shallow, but once you choose to open that door to learning and wrestling with what the Bible has to say about who Jesus is, you can see this massive shift in the way you know Jesus. Throughout the process of the BCC-C, my relationship with Christ was finally built on a foundation of truth.

One of the biggest lessons I learned while studying the Bible was the importance of questioning and discovering truth for myself. I had been so afraid to question things I learned or beliefs that I had. God is God why would I dare to question who He is? I felt that it wasn’t my place. I was also scared of not liking the answers to questions, but the truth is He wants us to wrestle and question, that way we know why we believe what we believe. God met me in all of my questions and I got to know Him so much more through these discoveries.

I encourage you to dive in deep and discover what the Bible has to offer. The BCC-C was only the kickstarter for my continual study of the Bible, a foundation for a future of growing and discovering more of who God is. Allow yourself to question, don’t be afraid of finding new ways of thinking. God is not afraid of our questions, he meets us there and brings transformation.

For more information about the Chronological Biblical Core Course and the link to apply- click HERE.

The author Mikah is an alumni of our BCC-C and is currently on staff at our Ensenada campus.

In the Waiting

Does a delayed response or fulfillment of a promise from the Lord signify a closed door? The well meaning and often used expression rings loudly “If God closes a door, he will open a window.” This can be true, but not all the time. God truly does know best, and sometimes His best for us looks different then the door we attempt to go through at first. Other times this is not the case. Often, God will wait until circumstances look impossible to do the impossible and prove His sovereignty. He works for His glory and our good. He doesn’t speak things in advance to mess with us or discourage us. He speaks in advance to build up our faith, to refine our trust and to prove to us that He really is who He says He is and His word does not come back void. He does not delay and He is not impatient, but rather He is so specific when he implements things, not just in the scriptures but also in the lives of all those who believe in him in faith.  Just because things look unlikely or unrealistic, does not mean that God is not going to move. Out of intimacy and knowing God, we can navigate when a door closed means move on or when it means keep knocking.  That is the nature of walking with God. He is the Good Shepherd, gently guiding us even when we fear or don’t understand. He is cultivating our faith and our trust. 

25 years after God promised Abraham descendants as many as the stars, Isaac, the child of promise, was born. It had seemed impossible. Sarah’s womb was dry + barren. There was no hope for an heir, yet God had a miracle in mind. Sarah and Abraham were able to rejoice in the fulfillment of the promise and God working in their lives in miraculous ways. God had done as he promised and in her old age, Sarah nursed her very own son. Abraham’s faith had grown  as he discovered more of who God was in the waiting. At the perfect time, as Abraham’s character had developed and he had come to have fear of the Lord, the promise was fulfilled. Years later, when the testing came and God asked for Abraham to sacrifice his only heir, the fulfillment of his promise and the source of great joy and redemption, he did not hesitate to sacrifice. He trusted in His God, because He had gotten to know him in the mean time.

The question is not so much about when the fulfillment of things will come but what are God’s purposes in the waiting. God’s timing is different than ours and His ways are above our ways. He is not casual or unconcerned with timing, rather He moves in intentionality and sovereignty over His people. We may not always understand but we have the beautiful opportunity to have a response of faith in the waiting. 

What are the things God is asking you to believe for? What will you do in the waiting? 

“So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11 

Words + Photos by TIFFANY LAMBERT.

TIFFANY IS FULL TIME WITH YWAM SAN DIEGO/BAJA AND LEADS THE PHOTO-STORYTELLING DTS.